Ksenia Hetman is a psychotherapist. Depression. · Peoples' Friendship University of Russia, Department of Psychiatry and Medical Psychology, residency, psychiatrist

Depression is like alcoholism: if you went into a deep binge once, and then managed to get out, this does not mean at all that now you can safely say that it will never, ever happen again.

As soon as the euphoria begins that now I can swing right and left without care and sensitivity to myself, sooner or later the pendulum will swing in the other direction. And the brighter was the greedy euphoria “now there will never be depression again and I can stir up that project and this one at the same time, and still be a reaper, a priest and a player on the pipe”, the brighter the next depressive episode will be.

How beautifully and accurately said the most talented, for my taste, therapist and psychiatrist Xenia Getman, the psyche of a person predisposed to depression requires High Quality service.
This means that it is important to maintain sensitivity not only to others and to the world as a whole, but first of all, sensitivity and attitude towards oneself.
And such a manifestation means that it is important to be at your own pace, starting from basic needs: fully sleep and eat, engage in physical activity. loads, drinking vitamins in the fall and spring (yes, banal earthly things, but which decide a lot in terms of mental resources), ending with the needs of a higher level: to have time to relate to oneself and be careful when setting goals and making plans, in disciplinary procedure organize a space for yourself to relax, which is dedicated to your loved one (and not combined with the interests of children / friends / relatives, etc.), and most importantly - carefully look at people before approaching. Crawl to a safe distance if the approach turned out to be poisonous. Even if it’s “uncomfortable” to distance yourself, “yes, everyone does it and nothing”, “something is wrong with me.”

Depression is like alcoholism - if you pretend that there is no depressive part (and it is always alive inside, it always takes care to preserve the personality, cutting off all feelings and energy in general, if a person does not hear himself for a long time, ignoring his feelings and signals ), then it will start knocking in dreams, in unexpected fantasies, waking you up at night, trying to remind you of something really important that remains unheard, unnoticed due to any pursuit, be it the pursuit of business, relationships or overvalued ideas.
Depression first wakes up, saying: Wake up! notice yourself and what is important to you! And if you ignore it for a long time, then it breaks all the fuses and lays it on the sofa until its own meanings are found for organizing nourishing and mutual (these are key words) relations with the world.

So the best thing, in my opinion, that you can do if you are prone to depression is to respect it. To know that she is always there, breathes in the back, reminding with her presence the importance of maintaining a relationship with oneself.

Psychologist-consultant

"Be yourself. Other roles are already taken" (Oscar Wilde)

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I sincerely believe that everyone has the potential to become free and happy. My goal is to reveal it. Having myself been in personal and group therapy for a long time, I know what an impetus for personal growth this approach can be. The desire for development, the search for one's own path is not just beautiful words, it is the need to find one's place in this life without wasting time.

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Education:

· Peoples' Friendship University of Russia, Faculty of Medicine, general practitioner;

· Peoples' Friendship University of Russia, Department of Psychiatry and Medical Psychology, residency, psychiatrist;

· Moscow Institute of Gestalt Therapy and Psychodrama.

Add. Education:

· Institute of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, course of psychotherapy of endogenous diseases;

· Russian Medical Academy of Postgraduate Education, course of psychotherapy.

Prof. An experience:

· Practice of work as a medical resident:

- resident doctor in PB No. 14;

- Medical resident at the Clinic of Neurosis. Z.P. Solovyov;

- according to present time - consultant hotline for erectile dysfunction.

Depression is like alcoholism: if you went into a deep binge once, and then managed to get out, this does not mean at all that now you can safely say that it will never, ever happen again.
As soon as the euphoria begins that now I can swing right and left without care and sensitivity to myself, sooner or later the pendulum will swing in the other direction. And the brighter was the greedy euphoria “now there will never be depression again and I can stir up that project and this one at the same time, and still be a reaper, a priest and a player on the pipe”, the brighter the next depressive episode will be.
As the most talented, in my opinion, therapist and psychiatrist Xenia Getman said beautifully and accurately, the psyche of a person prone to depression requires a high quality of service.
This means that it is important to maintain sensitivity not only to others and to the world as a whole, but first of all, sensitivity and attitude towards oneself.
And such a manifestation means that it is important to be at your own pace, starting from basic needs: fully sleep and eat, engage in physical activity. loads, drinking vitamins in the fall and spring (yes, banal earthly things, but which decide a lot in terms of mental resources), ending with the needs of a higher level: to have time to relate to yourself and be careful when setting tasks and building plans, to organize your space in a disciplinary manner for a vacation that is dedicated to oneself (and not combined with the interests of children / friends / relatives, etc.), and most importantly - carefully look at people before approaching. Crawl to a safe distance if the approach turned out to be poisonous. Even if it’s “uncomfortable” to distance yourself, “yes, everyone does it and nothing”, “something is wrong with me.”
Depression is like alcoholism - if you pretend that there is no depressive part (and it is always alive inside, it always takes care to preserve the personality, cutting off all feelings and energy in general, if a person does not hear himself for a long time, ignoring his feelings and signals ), then it will start knocking in dreams, in unexpected fantasies, waking you up at night, trying to remind you of something really important that remains unheard, unnoticed due to any pursuit, be it the pursuit of business, relationships or overvalued ideas.
Depression first wakes up, saying: Wake up! notice yourself and what is important to you! And if you ignore it for a long time, then it breaks all the fuses and lays it on the sofa until its own meanings are found for organizing nourishing and mutual (these are key words) relations with the world.
Therefore, the best thing, in my opinion, what can be done if you are prone to derpessia is to respect it. To know that she is always there, breathes in the back, reminding with her presence the importance of maintaining a relationship with oneself.

On the catwalks and screens are increasingly appearing plump women with wide hips. Maybe it's time to quit all diets and start getting fat?

The other day, the public was stirred up by the cover of the American magazine Paper, in which TV personality Kim Kardashian, with a charming smile, exposes her rather big buttocks. Most considered the photo shoot to be sexy, and Kim was the successor to Jennifer Lopez, who used to be the most hipped lady in the world of show business. But here's what's interesting. As recently as 2011 ex-husband Kim divorced her - including because of Kardashian's fullness. Basketball player Chris Humphreys claimed that she (forgive the crude quote) "has no talent, but she has a fat ass." And in 2014, it was the hips that became the recognized dignity of the TV star. Glamor magazines give Kim covers, and Kardashian speaks of love for her body and self-confidence. The world has truly turned upside down.

But it was not Kim who started this coup.

Steep hip step

Plus-size models became pioneers - in 2010, girls with clothing sizes 48 - 52 wagged their hips and cleared a small place for themselves on the fashion catwalks of the world. To release a magnificent fashion model during the show has become exotic, tolerant and even revolutionary. But girls with something to hold on to still looked like

zest, rather a challenge, not the norm. It is no coincidence that the powerful creative director of Dior, Karl Lagerfeld, made a statement that no one wants women with forms on the podium: “Fat people envy thin and beautiful ones. And the audience of magazines that began to refuse anorexic models are mothers who sit with chips and argue that thin models are ugly. But this only pushed the "fatties" to fight.

Christina Hendricks (TV series "Mad Men") says: - I love my body.

The scandal that broke out and the next scary stories about the death of anorexic catwalk stars made fashion designers take a different look at girls who do not fall under the description of “skeleton”. And now the Italian version of Vogue magazine is releasing a "scandalous" cover with large models Tara Lynn, Candice Huffine and Robin Lawley. And our fashion model Katya Zharkova is making a successful career in the USA with her 52nd clothing size!

Appetizing buns: TV version

And then to the aid of everyone who is not ready to torture themselves with diets and fitness for the sake of skinny buttocks, came ... popular TV shows. Christina Hendricks (Mad Men) and Lena Dunham (Girls) have completely shamelessly reigned on television screens. The star of the series "Girls" no longer causes laughter when she comes to the red carpet in her ridiculous outfits - she forced herself to be respected and accepted as she is. Year after year she says the same thing:

I don't want to wake up one day and have a body like a supermodel. I would be afraid of problems that are not in my life now. I don't have to think, for example, why people talk to me - just because of my big breasts or for some other reason. In general, if this happened to me, I would eat at a restaurant at someone else's expense, and then ask my doctor to do something to get me back in shape.

...our Katyusha Zharkova (size 52) has been one of the most prominent stars on the US catwalks for several years now.

And she doesn't seem to be lying. While we are storming the Internet in search of a new diet to finally start to like ourselves, others love themselves just like that.

Perfect female Christina Hendricks with large breasts, thin waist and immense hips leads the rankings of the most desirable women in the world, resembling a mouth-watering bun, not a skeletal fashion model. The media has been actively putting her on a diet since the beginning of the Mad Men series. As a result, Christina was tired of being called the most magnificent actress in Hollywood, and she spoke:

I love my body, every kilogram is dear to me. I have been advised for many years to lose weight, but I see no need for it - both me and my husband like my body. And my mother always called me the most beautiful, so I never felt discomfort about my figure.

fat and good

For now, Lady Gaga allows herself to calmly gain weight. The British press and bloggers choked with bile in the style of “Shame on her to appear in front of people in this form! I put on a swimsuit, and bodies hang from it! What lyakhs! But Gaga was not taken aback:

I rounded up, so what? I'm really fat now because I eat a lot of barbecue. Thanks to my fans for letting me be me. And being yourself is much easier than being someone else.

What can we say about the "supernova" Adele, who, despite her excess weight, is one of the most popular performers of our time. And obviously not going to lose weight.

For the first time in history, a 90-kilogram model Candice Huffine appeared on the Pirelli calendar.

The fashion world quickly jumped into the quest for big hips. The famous Pirelli calendar, whose pages are the dream of any actress and fashion model, is chosen by plus-size model Candice Huffine. Which just recently was forced to lose weight, and now left alone and just admire her body. And the Calvin Klein brand, which at one time actually began the story with “heroin chic”, planting in the mind the idea that one should look haggard, shot model Mila Dalbesio with our 48th size in a fresh promotional photo shoot. Not fat, of course, but still, consider it a complete capitulation: the recognition that girls with appetizing forms are becoming truly fashionable.

I'm 31 and I have people I've been friends with for 15 years. I have a couple higher education and I love to learn. I have changed my place of residence 5 times in my life. And I already know my home is where my family is. 3 times I started over, and this does not scare me. 1 time I got married, and I know that some stories just end. I changed jobs 6 times, and I am not afraid and I know how to work. 4 times I thought it was the end, but it wasn't.

At 31, I don't want to go back to 20!

Only in the region of 30 years my desires and needs equaled the possibilities, and the awareness of the elections increased.

The iridescence of prospects is a little overshadowed by physiology. The exploratory 15 years and the tumultuous 25 years emerged after 30 years. I can’t mindlessly eat, stay awake for days, work with a temperature of 40 or run a half marathon on a bet. While re-reading this, I realized that it was not only a matter of physiology, but that something in me just wants to live, and live long.

I became attentive to myself, I became really interesting to myself. It is interesting not in the projection on the future, not in who I should have become, but in what I am now.

Not the best representative of the species, but unique!

People often come to me who have not fulfilled the plan, who have not lived up to other people's expectations:

• up to 25 years old to deal with a calling or build a relationship;
• give birth before the age of 30;
• up to 35 years to make a career.

But the most fantastic stories around me are about those who did not rely on age, but made their choice and were responsible for it.

Adulthood and maturity

The concepts are dramatic, and absolutely not related to age, but directly related to awareness and responsibility, the adopted position. And the funny thing about all this is that the choice does not free you at all, you have to confirm it every day - to live with this person, in this country, just to live.

You won’t be able to exhale, there will be no clouds, no rainbows, no small touching ponies, but there will be satisfaction, such an elastic spring inside you can feel it.

As I said Linor Goralik: « What is scary is not that we are adults, but that adults are, in fact, us.

And it frightens me sincerely that people are afraid to grow old without having matured. To be eternally young and eternally drunk is also a choice, let only it take place, and take place not from fear of taking a step forward.

My friends are from 15 to 55 years old, and you know, when I communicate with them, I don’t remember how old they are, I see how beautiful, smart, ironic they are, and how well they manage to almost always be in agreement with themselves.

And my main discovery by this moment is real human intimacy, midnight conversations, laughter, tears, hugs with those who are dear to me, as if this is what makes us eternal.